I’m sitting in a Starbucks here in New York and I just overheard a woman ask the staff for a certain packet of coffee beans. One staff member replied “We don’t sell that here, you can go to the Astor place store [literally around the corner from this one]“ The woman said “Eh, I’m too lazy, … Read more
Persuasion is a tool that almost anyone can learn to use. But just like all tools, what matters is the person using it, their intentions and ethics. I told someone recently that I help people to become more persuasive and effective at communicating. He responded flatly “I don’t like to be persuasive. I like to … Read more
Talk about what people want to talk about. One of the most common mistakes that people make is they don’t listen when others speak. But listening is such a powerful tool, and it’s extremely easy to do. If more people listened to each other, genuinely, there would be less conflict and more productivity in the … Read more
Perfect Speaking Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be One of the hallmarks of inauthentic communication is perfectionism. Perfectionism leads to overly complicated and mechanical communication techniques. These techniques feel inauthentic and fake, damaging trust and turning audiences off. It could be a trite sales line that we’ve heard a million time before. It could … Read more
Your first impression is critical. It’s probably the most important component of the selling and promotion process. So what should you be thinking about as you design your first impression? Visual appearance It’s surprising how many people I see who just don’t pay attention to their appearance. I can personally attest to the power of style and aesthetics. … Read more
I’m a big believer that if you don’t really believe in what you are selling–whether that is an idea, a product, a service or yourself–you will fail. You can always force yourself to “hype” something that you don’t really believe in. But that’s a short-term play, not a path to long-term sustained value. Unless you are destitute … Read more
Reframing happens when you create a new context, or a new “frame” for a discussion. It’s one of the most powerful and effective ways of communicating. Reframing is especially critical when you are trying to compete for attention or acceptance. By reframing the entire conversation, or the way your counterpart thinks about the issue, you shift … Read more
In 1874, Benjamin Disraeli became UK Prime Minister. Each new leader had to meet with the Queen, who at that time was Victoria. In “The Art of Seduction” Robert Greene tells the story of their first meeting: Two more unlikely associates could not be imagined: Disraeli, who was Jewish by birth, had dark skin and exotic features by English standards; … Read more
Public Speaking Techniques Demonstrated by Barack Obama (Before He Was President) Here is Barack Obama’s big speech from the 2004 Democratic Convention that put him on the map: Notice his relaxed body movement and purposeful hand gestures throughout. There are several key strategies that Obama uses for maximum impact on the audience. Strategic Monotone and Vocal Range … Read more
This is one of the classic challenges that people have with public speaking, or speaking in general: what do you do with your hands? Your hands are a powerful communication tool if you can use them correctly. They help to highlight and emphasize your ideas. Everyone who is trying to communicate with impact needs to use … Read more