I’ve been trying out this old technique for rapport building called “mirroring.”

This is where you adjust your body language and movement to be similar to the other person’s in a conversation.

If they cross their arms, you cross your arms. If they lean to one side, you do as well. You don’t do it right away like a little kid playing copy-cat. But it happens gradually during the course of the conversation.

I had learned about it a long time ago, but only now am I actually trying to do it consistently.

The great thing about this is that it’s simple, easy to do, non-obvious, natural, and gets immediate results. Very rarely do we come across a technique that has so many great benefits.

It is also something that is not deceptive. It is more a way for you to get “in sync” with the other person quickly and thus speed up the process of rapport and connection that would have occurred anyway over time.

When in a 3-way conversation or more, I pick out one person who I want to create more rapport/ connection with, and mirror that person’s movement.

It forces you to pay very close attention to everything the person is doing as well as saying. In the past I would have just stood more or less passively waiting for the other person to finish before I got “my turn” to talk.

Then I got much better at listening and hearing what they were really trying to say.

But with mirroring, I am pretty much focused 100% on the other person, and this creates a great moment of connection with them above and beyond just listening to their words.

Author
Recent Posts

Justin Aquino

As Founder and Head Coach of Cool Communicator, I lead our coaching programs and classes. Our programs help you improve professional communication skills, including public speaking, presentation skills, assertiveness in the workplace, impromptu speaking, and more.