You’re Boring for One of These Two Reasons
Do other people find you boring? Boredom comes from weak energy, mumbling words, and a general lack of social presence.
Where does this boring thing come from? Why might you be boring?
There are basically two main reasons.
First, you are literally bored by the topic.
The world is a mirror. It reflects back to you what you put out. The saying “only boring people are bored” is true in many ways.
When you are in a social situation that you don’t enjoy, you get bored.
When you are giving a presentation about something you don’t care about, you get bored.
When you are pushing a product that you don’t believe in, you get bored.
Spending too much time on a topic can also lead to boredom. Not enough stimulation and variety. This is why people who drone on and on about the most insignificant details of their cousin’s daughter’s office holiday party 5 years ago bore us to tears.
We don’t care. Nobody cares.
When you are mentally disengaged from the topic or situation, you speak with weaker energy and develop a blasé “whatever” attitude. In short, you get boring.
The second reason for being boring, interestingly, is exactly the opposite:
You take the topic extremely seriously.
A person who takes the topic or situation very, very seriously builds up so much anxiety and tension that their body kind of shuts down.
If you have ever been super nervous on stage, you might have noticed your voice getting quieter and more monotone.
The nervousness creates a fight-or-flight response: it jacks up your adrenaline and cortisol, pulls blood away from nonessential parts of your body and towards your muscles, makes you hyper-alert, and shuts down the part of your brain that deals with speaking and complex communication.
Your mouth (a nonessential part) gets dry and it becomes harder to form words.
Your brain thinks it has to focus on survival and avoiding danger, not communicating an idea or describing a valuable service.
The net result is boring. Even if you can muddle through with this nervous energy, the other person will see you as less interesting and less engaging.
So the solution to being boring? Be engaged and excited by the topic, but don’t take yourself (or the situation) super seriously.
Breathe slowly and relax your muscles. Make sure to prepare and rehearse ahead of time. It makes a huge difference in your confidence and comfort level.
And remember the core reason, the underlying passion or interest, of why you are giving this presentation, making this pitch, or having a conversation with this person.
If you’re confident and enthusiastic about what you’re doing, other people will like it and respect it, even if you’re not perfect.