Do other people find you boring? Boredom comes from weak energy, mumbling words, and a general lack of social presence. Where does this boring thing come from? Why might you be boring? There are basically two main reasons. First, you are literally bored by the topic. The world is a mirror. It reflects back to you … Read more
Perfect Speaking Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be One of the hallmarks of inauthentic communication is perfectionism. Perfectionism leads to overly complicated and mechanical communication techniques. These techniques feel inauthentic and fake, damaging trust and turning audiences off. It could be a trite sales line that we’ve heard a million time before. It could … Read more
Listening skills are an area that lots of people struggle with. How many of us ask someone their name or what they do for a living, and then immediately forget it? I’m not a perfect listener. But I have improved a lot from where I used to be. In my case, I had so many … Read more
I’m a big believer that if you don’t really believe in what you are selling–whether that is an idea, a product, a service or yourself–you will fail. You can always force yourself to “hype” something that you don’t really believe in. But that’s a short-term play, not a path to long-term sustained value. Unless you are destitute … Read more
Overthinking, excessive planning, and hesitation are all related. They all involve taking ourselves out of the moment and into our worries and anxieties. This internal mental and emotional conflict undercuts your communication effectiveness. Communication, whether one-to-one or one-to-thousands, is fundamentally a form of connection with someone. When you get lost in your insecurities and worries about “am I … Read more
Companies spend a lot of money on training. They often fail to get any lasting results from it. As someone who has been involved in coaching and skills training for years now (both as a student and a coach), I know what works and what doesn’t. There are two major things that are needed for any … Read more
I’ve written about concision before. This topic came up again recently at a talk that I was giving in NYC. One of the attendees found it difficult to keep her networking conversations concise. This happens to a lot of us. When talking to someone new, through a combination of wanting to be polite and just … Read more
When I was helping clients with dating and social skills, I came across this issue all the time. Both men and women say they want one thing in a partner or relationship, but their behavior indicates a completely different desire altogether. People who scream all they want is a nice, dependable partner, nevertheless get involved with bad boys … Read more
One of the key qualities of dry, boring communicators: no passion! When someone seems to lack passion and excitement for their topic, we get bored very quickly. Why should we be interested in the topic if they aren’t? With more passion in your communication, you are more convincing, more engaging, and just more fun. Some simple questions to … Read more
Have you ever found yourself being a blabbermouth? You just talk and talk, going off on tangents and unrelated anecdotes. You try to convey an idea, describe a product, or make an argument, but you end up getting lost in a word salad of your own making. And you can tell your counterpart is bored … Read more