Good Networking Feels Like Making New Friends

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that good networking feels a lot like meeting new friends. Oftentimes we associate “networking” with a very business-focused, “formal” kind of vibe. But that’s just one, very specific type of networking. People definitely want to hire or do business with someone who is professional. But they also want someone … Read more

Cold Reading is a Useful Tool of Influence

Cold reading is a statement or guess about someone that is based on a very limited amount of information about them. It often comes in the form of a “high-probability guess.” Psychics use cold reads all the time: [To someone who arrived right on time for their appointment] “You are a very conscientious and detail-oriented person, … Read more

The Most Important Skill for Cross-Cultural Communication

Most important is the ability to suspend your assumptions. When you enter into another culture that is not familiar to you, or when speaking with someone who comes from a different background, they probably do not share many of your assumptions about the world. Everything is potentially on the table: from huge philosophical issues like gender … Read more

This is How You Take Away the Buyer’s Excuses

I’m sitting in a Starbucks here in New York and I just overheard a woman ask the staff for a certain packet of coffee beans. One staff member replied “We don’t sell that here, you can go to the Astor place store [literally around the corner from this one]“ The woman said “Eh, I’m too lazy, … Read more

They Don’t Need Your Data, They Need You

There are three main skill levels in public speaking, identified by our inner dialogue: At the beginner level, we think “how do I look?” This is the most basic mindset, where we are most concerned with how we look to the audience and whether they are judging us or accepting us. Most people don’t get past this … Read more

Does Persuasion Mean Dishonesty?

Persuasion is a tool that almost anyone can learn to use. But just like all tools, what matters is the person using it, their intentions and ethics. I told someone recently that I help people to become more persuasive and effective at communicating. He responded flatly “I don’t like to be persuasive. I like to … Read more

Here are the Top 7 Questions People Ask at Networking Events

I just hosted another successful networking event tonight here in NYC with some amazing partners and collaborators. One thing I have noticed is that in networking situations, human beings tend to ask the exact same questions over and over. While this makes things somewhat boring and predictable, it’s understandable. People are often uncertain how to engage … Read more

Simplicity

I’ve helped clients with many communication challenges. From speaking to social skills to selling, and more. One of the main recurring themes through all of them has been complication. When we are confused by something, we have a tendency to complicate it. We over-think something as simple as having a conversation. We develop theoretical frameworks and methodologies and complex narratives … Read more

This is Probably the Easiest Way to be Fascinating

Talk about what people want to talk about. One of the most common mistakes that people make is they don’t listen when others speak. But listening is such a powerful tool, and it’s extremely easy to do. If more people listened to each other, genuinely, there would be less conflict and more productivity in the … Read more

How to Communicate Without Speaking

I’ve been stood up. I’m sitting in a coffee shop as I write this. I was supposed to meet someone to discuss business, but the person never showed, despite confirming the time and location with me just yesterday. I texted and emailed them. No response. Seriously guys, communicate! If you have to cancel a meeting … Read more